Wise Aging by Linda Thal and Rachel Cowan is a compilation of information for those aspiring to be an elder or sage in their old age. Emotional characteristics necessary to achieve such a goal are discussed in detail. The authors, a rabbi and an educator, have provided a self-help manual with probing questions to spark an inner exploration, instruction in meditation and journaling.
Some of their comments were thought provoking. They ask, “Who is wise?” and answer “The person who can learn from everyone.” I liked their definition of forgiveness: “giving up the resentment to which you are entitled and offering friendlier attitudes than they are entitled.” “A well-aged person is someone people want to visit not have to.”
A lot of the information was a rehash of ideas I had heard before. There is much talk about gratitude, which must be an “in” subject. Wisdom sounds desirable, but do I really want to spend my old age on self-improvement so that I may become more compassionate, generous, forgiving, grateful, patient? Whew! Maybe wisdom, and old age, are about more than that.
An alternate presentation on aging is Still Life at Eighty by Abigail Thomas. This memoir is an example of the joy of reading good literature. The sentences are original and inciteful; the stories are poignant and humorous. Thomas’s emphasis is not on improving herself but on finding things to get excited about despite diminishing years and capabilities.
Possibility is a physical sensation and there’s nothing like it. I remember the first time I felt its thrill, listening to my father describe something that was going well in his lab…he fairly trembled with excitement…
She writes vignettes about what she did during Covid, memories that surfaced, people and things she used to love. Through these delightful stories, there is insight into isolation, loneliness, memory loss, paying attention, nameless dread, and anxiety. Here are some favorite quotes:
In the intro: Don’t smile at us as if we’re cute or pat our hand and call us dear. A little respect please.
You can do a lot with a cane; you can use its rubber tip to shove a door shut, which is satisfying if you’re in a bad mood; …
Unforgettable advice: Always take a cookie when the plate is passed.
I can think of my failing memory as an accomplishment. I am finally living in the moment.
While the first book was chock full of serious suggestions and advice on how to improve, the second was realistic about how people think and behave – and it was funny.
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