Old Ladies Read and More

It didn’t hurt that Tokarczuk, at 59, qualifies as an “old lady,” as does the main character of her book.   She didn’t disappoint. 

This novel is grounded in the reality of a bitter winter in a small hamlet in the Polish forest. As the year progresses, we get to know Janina whose interests fly above the solidity of this setting.  She is a reader who, with a friend, is translating the metaphysical poet William Blake.  She is a vegetarian and aggressive animal rights voice in a land of hunters.  She is a retired engineer who satisfies her craving for order with an extensive knowledge of astrology.  She is an old woman ignored by those in control.

Through all of this runs the thread of the four mysterious murders.    Are they revenge killings by the hunted deer as Janina proposes?  This edgy novel raises serious questions and is not content with expected answers.  The title is a reference to a poem by William Blake which encourages us to question, or plow up, the ossified ways of society.  Tokarczuk excels at this.  Originally written in Polish in 2009, the book was translated into English in 2018 and won the Nobel Prize for Literature that year. 

Vine and fig tree?  Where had I just heard that phrase?  It was in a line from Amanda Gorman’s inauguration poem.  Originally from the Old Testament, the phrase was popular in the 18^th century when it signified peace, freedom, and patriotism.  George Washington used it when he wrote about his new country-to-be, “everyone shall sit in safety under his own vine and fig tree, and there shall be none to make him afraid.”  And Napoleon when he was encouraging his troops, “each of you…under his own vine and fig tree, will be enjoying the property won by your valor.”

That phrase is so not the right tone for this forward looking, energetic and optimistic poem.   Many have talked about the meaning or her presentation, but I especially like how she played with the words:

And the norms and notions  
Of what just is  
Isn’t always just-ice

(There is that idea about questioning norms again.)

We lay down our arms  
So we can reach out our arms

And the vivid images:

 It’s because being American is more than a pride we inherit,
 It’s the past we step into
 And how we repair it 

Having a nod to literature by our new president after having four years of a president who didn’t read was a pleasure.  Having it be one of the highlights of the inauguration was best of all. 

This year because of Covid, there are just Zoom meetings which I haven’t participated in.  But on my daily walks, I did listen to one of their chosen books, The Color of Air by Gail Tsukiyama.  This pleasant story shows the importance of friendship and community to a close-knit group of Japanese who had been brought to cut cane in the sugar fields of Hilo in the early 1900’s.  Tsukiyama is interested in the weight past decisions and experiences continue to exert on their present lives.  Unlike Tokarczuk who sees the stultifying side of tradition, Tsukiyama shows us the comfort people take in ritual and “the old ways” as help in coping with the passing of time and the uncontrollable Pele.   

Tsukiyama tried hard to make this a “Hawaiian” book and the repetition of mangoes, sweet bread, tropical breezes, etc. became tiresome as did the overuse of the Pidgin “yeah.”  I did learn things about the sugar cane and was startled to learn that plantation owners rode horses and used whips on the Japanese, and presumably Chinese and Filipino workers, well into the 1930’s.  All this is told against the backdrop of a real-life eruption of Mauna Loa.

At the end of Clarissa’s day, we have seen her past, present, fears, and contradictions flow together as a whole cloth.   She is a woman who takes joy in the ordinary things, “…that one should wake up in the morning; see the sky; walk in the park…. how she had loved it all…”    Woven with the weft of her happiness is the warp of the darker sides of life.  Clarissa is aware of approaching age; she is in her fifties and has been ill.   Her path crosses with the heart-rending story of a suicidal soldier with PTSD and his young, isolated war bride.

The secret for me is to read this novel a little at a time.  The bloom comes off the slow pace, lack of plot and action.  But for a while each day, I can immerse myself in the metaphorical language, savor the poetry, enjoy the sharp observations, and participate in the memories of wonderfully drawn characters.

At the end of the Pleistocene, up to 11,700 years ago, Asia and North America were joined by a “bridge” 1000 miles wide.  How people moved from Siberia, to Alaska, then the rest of North and South America, probably by boat, is the adventure he imagines.  Childs makes this tale so alive by trekking across the ice himself and ruminating on how things would have been done differently in the Pleistocene.  One time he travelled with his mother.  (I am very impressed with Mom.) 

To tell the story of the first people who landed in the East, he chose a site in Florida with Iberian-like relics and explored the idea of people following the ice from Europe to New York and travelling down the east coast.  Once again, he lives the adventure as, minimally equipped, he travels with snakes and alligators through the swamps.  The second half is more information filled but we thought “Atlas” a misnomer as there is a disappointing lack of maps.

I love how Childs shows the truths hidden in myths passed down throughout the ages.  Raven was originally white (the color of animals who live on the ice).  He was naughty (of course) and punished by being held over a fire.  When he escaped, he was scorched black (a more suitable color after the ice receded).   I can see how Childs, a storyteller himself, would feel a kinship towards these oral traditions.

He also wonders why ancient people living in Alaska might have thought about trying to get around all that ice in the first place.  What made them think there would be something on the other side?  He posits that they watched the noisy cranes and flocks of migratory birds come in the spring and leave in the fall.  Where were they going?  Wouldn’t it be an adventure to find out?   And they might have gotten their answer relatively quickly.   Childs tells a story about someone in current times who travelled by kayak from Alaska to South America in two years.  Maybe a hardy ice age explorer was sent in his umiak to do the same thing.

I was intrigued and found a fuller version of the myth in “Tales of the Menehune” published by Kamehameha Schools Press.  Hawaiian people knew about the benefits of fire for cooking because they saw what happened along the burning edges of lava.  Breadfruit and bananas were roasted and delicious.  But they didn’t know how to make fire by themselves.  One day Maui and his brothers were fishing and from the boat saw a column of smoke rising.  When they got back to shore, they saw that birds, the moorhens, had started a fire, stolen their bananas and roasted them.  The myth goes into some detail about Maui’s negotiating tactics, but eventually he gets one of the moorhens to teach him how to start a fire.  As the bird is leaving, Maui takes a blazing stick and makes a mark on the little hen.   And so, as often happens in real life, it was the little hen in the background who knew what was really going on.

He explores our present bad habits, such as mouth breathing, and their history.  He examines ancient practices of restorative breathing plus extreme breathing techniques for warming and calming.  He reminds us that disciplines such as singing and athletics make excellent use of the old methods of controlled breathing.

With acute observation, Nestor finds unexpected similarities in the number of syllables in Asian and North American chants and Western prayers, all designed to promote the ideal of 5.5 breaths per minute.   Looking at things from a different perspective, he doesn’t see carbon dioxide only as a waste product but potentially a benefit in the regulation of anxiety.  Yes, this is a far-ranging book that puts a scientific spin on ancient ideas and overlooked research– -plus an appendix of breathing practices

After this familiar beginning, Guest List goes in its own modern direction with a very strong plot.  Main characters get their own chapters and tell the story from their points of view.  Creation of atmosphere worked the least.  I felt that Foley was following a template for murder mysteries:   storm, wind, crashing waves, jagged cliffs, the bog, ill-omened birds, cemetery.  Nothing was left out.   Nonetheless, this is a good story, a page turner, and distraction from the real-life tension of the times.

I applaud its attitude toward old age.  Ulysses, the adventurer, is home now after a lifetime of war and travels and is expected to act the part of old wise counsellor.  But sitting home acting his age is not for him.  He does not want to be “an idle king.”  He does not want to “rust unburnish’d, not to shine in use!” He dreams of setting out again…

There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail,                                                                          'T is not too late to seek a newer world….                                                                               To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths                                                                                Of all the western stars…                                                                                                           To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

 

Wilkerson’s own personal experiences of being black, being unseen, bring it into focus.  She compares slavery and racism in our country to the caste system of India and holocaust of Nazi Germany.

Our larger book group discussed this timely book the day after the mob attack on the US capitol.  The insights we gained from it helped us understand why people did this, why so many are attracted to Trump, and that unanswerable question for many of us, why do people vote and behave against their own interests.  Wilkerson’s plausible answer is that they are willing to give up things that would help them in the short term to protect their long-term interests. What are those long-term interests?  To keep the prestige, power, and supremacy they feel is their due simply because they are white.  People will vote and act against anything that might help the brown or black person rise above the lowest rungs of society and threaten white position.  It is especially threatening for the white people who feel unsuccessful to see nonwhites getting things they are unable to get for themselves.                                                                                       

But it is not all fluff.  I expected this to be a welcome contrast to Wilkerson’s book, but the depressing mistreatment of and attitude towards the brown caste by the dominant white caste (her word is colonizers) suffuses the essays.  In her discussion of the Brady Bunch in Hawai’i she points out that teen Greg Brady may ogle the many “bikinis” on the beach but when he speaks to one, she isn’t a local girl, but a blond Californian.

I liked Prato’s information and sharp observations but thought her language a little too breezy.  I suppose that I am showing my age, but I like some decorum in a book and fewer f-words.  She talks about the islands, including Kaua’i the Garden Isle, as a refuge, a place of healing.  This is the perfect segue to the next book I want to talk about.                                                             

 As always with Lively, I love her musings on time, the past, and memory.  The discussions of the “uses” of a garden, as refuge or creative expression, were interesting.  But those chapters that were essentially lists of flowers species, gardens, gardeners, gardening books?  I found them boring and skimmed through.   No, it was the philosophical sections I enjoyed.

She says, “I have the universal old age failing with names…but in fact (plant) names seem to surface more readily than those of politicians or celebrities, which is as it should be, as far as I’m concerned.”

I like her attitude about removing plants that no longer serve the purpose she wants.  That section combined with the section on husband-and-wife gardeners reminded me of my own situation when I want to remove something. I see it as overgrown, out of proportion, three times bigger than its intended size and my husband says – but it is doing so well!

And finally, after talking about the expulsion from that first garden so central to our mythology, she wonders if there is something primeval about people’s affinity for gardens, “Here we are, …in possession again….”  Yes, I like Lively’s attitude.

                                                                                        

In addition to the definition, the daily page has other word facts and games which I don’t usually take the time for, but this one intrigued me, “You Need a Hobby:  7 Words for Those Who Pursue Their Passions.”  I liked cruciverbalist, a person skillful in creating or solving crossword puzzles.  And then there is phillumenist, one who collects matchbooks, or matchbook labels.  Really? People do that?  Probably, not so much since smoking has declined.  The idea of hobbies though resonated with me in our time of still-being-quarantined.

Addendum

I meant to end on the relatively upbeat note of hobbies during quarantine, but have found myself, the last few days, looking up the exact meaning of words like sedition and what was the Reichstag and what does it mean today.  These are not words or concepts I ever expected to need to know in connection with my own country.  My reading time has been devoted to newspapers.  First, there was the reporting of the incredible attack on the capitol and now, the thoughtful analyses, opinion pieces, and editorials that being written.  One from the NYT especially struck home, “…the mob tested more than policy or ideology.  The intentions of the president’s supporters struck at an idea at the core of the American experiment – that, in time, the country’s commitment to democracy will overtake its history of intolerance.”  In Caste, Wilkerson wonders about the same thing.  If people have to choose between whiteness (supremacy) and democracy, which will they choose?

That is what happened with Nabokov’s Pale Fire.  The language is still poetically beautiful and funny.  The story is still outrageous.  Nonetheless, it was also more boring and incomprehensible than I remembered.  Is this typical of memory – we make things nicer than they were?  Or have our tastes just changed?  This kind of literature requires a lot of effort and maybe we just want something more accessible. Nonetheless, this rather difficult novel is worth thinking about.  And if at its end we’re left wondering, “Really, what is the truth of it all?” Maybe that is the point.

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I’ve always loved a good story and sometimes that story appears in a movie not a book.  Brigsby Bear, creative and original, is one of those movies.  It isn’t a mystery; it isn’t a love story; there isn’t any violence.  It is a tale of compassion and kindness, a story about people helping a unique main character adjust to reality and come into his own.  I hadn’t heard  much about this movie beforehand so it was an unexpected pleasure.

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Speaking of reality, I am sometimes reminded that reading can have a very utilitarian use.  In this time of semi quarantine, I entertained myself one day by cleaning the dishwasher, in particular the filter.  Afterwards, I decided that reading the manual to see how often this activity is recommended would be a very good idea.

All this reading for information got me thinking about more serious topics, non fiction books available about the environment, poverty, or civil rights.    

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As readers, we often turn to books to educate ourselves on these problems.  I have just started to read Caste, The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson.  It is an overwhelming examination of race and its affiliates in the United States, India, and Nazi Germany.  She is an excellent teacher who gives clarity to difficult-to-define words such as race, class and caste.  As all good teachers, she gives many examples which is where the overwhelming part comes in. More to come on this one when I finish it.

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Now that the solstice has come and gone, we are all looking forward to the new year and lighter days.  In the excellent NYT article, “How We Survive Winter,”  Elizabeth Dias says, “Look for the smallest bit of beauty around you…at a time where it seems like the mega-systems are all broken…return your gaze to the small….The great irony of winter is that the moment darkness is greatest is also the moment light is about to return.  Each year the winter solstice comes with the promise that the next day will be brighter.”  Sounds good to me.

12/2/20  A Nobel Prize in literature sounded impressive, so I thought I should give Faithful and Virtuous Night by poet Louise Gluck a try.  Poetry hasn’t resonated with either of my groups, so we have read very little of it together.  I like her work.  It is approachable, moving poetry, not the abstract obtuse language which we are so often presented with. 

The poems, filled with lovely images, tell a story which I can mostly understand the first time.   On the second reading, metaphors emerge; I see connections among the poems.  And on the third reading? This is why I don’t read poetry.   I know there is much more to find in this slim volume, but there is a stack of books on the table and a long list on the computer.   

Some lines I especially liked, which are appropriate for the winter:

12/9/20  After the November election, we invited some neighbors to the open garage with heaters for a celebratory glass of bubbly, and naturally, the conversation turned to politics.  They had all read Michael Cohen’s Disloyal which someone owned and offered to lend. 

The book is overly dramatic and somewhat trite, but then writing is not what Cohen was known for.  He was Trump’s hit man, a position he loved, until suddenly he was on the receiving end of what he had been dishing out.  The storyline tells of his seduction, how he loved the power, loved being told he was part of the “in” group, loved knowing what was really going on.   And pretty soon this started to feel familiar.  He was telling us, the readers, the true story, what really went on, making us feel that because we were reading his book, we were part of the “in” group.  Hmm…  Cohen knows his business very well.  But although I started to feel conned, I read about two thirds until all the mea culpas and dirt finally got to me and I fast skimmed to the end.

12/14/20  Much more relaxing was The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman.  I’m not sure why murder mysteries are relaxing or why some of them are termed cozy, but this qualifies on both counts.  Located in a retirement village with four lively oldsters as sleuths, this sounded perfect for an old lady who reads. Our four detectives met every Thursday in the activity room to solve cold cases, but now, suddenly there is a real live murder on the doorstep.    

Sometimes, if a book builds a lot of tension, I like to skip to the end to see what happens.  I think that I can enjoy the characters and writing more if I’m not galloping along to see what happens.   In this book, like other well plotted ones, it wasn’t easy to spot the answer and I had to wait until the end like everyone else.

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12/15/20 A poem that is worthy of being reread at least once a year, every year, “Twas the Night Before Christmas” evokes the feeling of the season for me.  Legend has it that Clement Clarke Moore wrote it on Christmas Eve, 1822, during a sleigh ride home after buying a turkey for his family.   The inspiration for his St Nicholas was his chubby, bewhiskered driver.  Alas, like so many legends these days, it is being disputed as current scholarship suspects the poem was really written by Henry Livingston, Jr.  It was first published in 1823 in an upstate New York newspaper.

I love this charming nostalgic poem with its famous first lines:

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,                                       not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…

And its wonderful ending:

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,                                                           And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle.                                                              But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight-                                                     Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

She says: “…about two years ago a friend’s daughter said, ‘Why not set up a website?’ …and I thought ‘Why not?’ I just blithely set it up. I had no idea what I was doing.”  Does that sound familiar!  Just like starting a blog on reading.  Only for me, it was my own daughter, not a friend’s.  It made me laugh.

12/4/20  In my “other” book group, the seven of us looked back over the year to remember the books we had read together.  One of the most memorable, although not the best, was Nomadland: Surviving America in the 21^st Century, by Jessica Bruder.  It describes Americans who have given up on home ownership to travel the country in trailers, not for fun but necessity.   These people, many in their 60’s and older, look for seasonal work.  It was the section on the harsh conditions of the  Amazon warehouse that grabbed our attention the most, especially since Covid has forced us into so much online shopping.

We next got onto a discussion of whether a person should reread books.  One person thought that at our age we don’t have the time to repeat books; there are so many new ones to read.  Others talked about getting so much more the second time; changing from disliking to liking; revisiting a favorite. 

Two talked about rereading There There by Tommy Orange several times and getting a picture of wholeness, almost beauty, so different from the first reading.   As for me, I couldn’t get beyond the subject matter of drug addiction among Native Americans and found it too depressing to read a second time. 

But reread old favorites?  Yes, I’m a fan of that.  This is especially true since library services are limited.  It is great to turn to a bookshelf full of favorites and know there is something wonderful there.

12/6/20  This is exactly what our threesome book group did this week.  What we found on our shelves, what each of us had chosen to buy and keep, was Vladimir Nabokov’s Pale Fire.   This “resplendent rare bird of a novel” as described by the New Yorker critic Giles Harvey is great fun to tackle if you are in the mood for something literary and challenging.

The novel contains a serious poem at the beginning followed by a commentary, which isn’t the least bit serious, but is a whole other fantastic story – and maybe a joke.  Who the narrator of the commentary is may be part of the puzzle, which only maybe can be solved.  It is Nabokov at his best with gorgeous alliterative language, but keep your dictionary at hand.  Nabokov, who is trilingual, is showing off here and putting us natives to shame.  This is not a casual read, and we are taking three weeks to give it its due.

11/18/20 When riding up and down the freeway, which we do on a regular basis, I’ve gotten in the habit of writing haikus.   Here is one I played around with after a few hours of watching the roadside scenery on a recent trip.

Gold leaves turning brown; Gray fog obscures the hill tops; November drifts in.

Around lunch time we stopped to charge our electric car.  Although it was my birthday, the prime consideration was something quick and safe, not fancy, and McDonald’s it was.

Big Mac, fries, and coke; Seagulls in the parking lot; 78 years!

11/24/20  Getting books for our book group isn’t as easy as we are accustomed to.  Because of Covid, our libraries are closed or on limited hours.  Holds are not promptly transported among libraries.  We request books we want to discuss two weeks from now and they don’t even come for two weeks.  So – in addition to electronic visits on Zoom, we are getting used to ebooks and audio books.  This leads to interesting challenges.   How can we decide what page to read up to when there are no page numbers?  How can we point out a beautiful description on page so and so?  Where is the map?

This is our current situation.  We are not reading from books.  All three of us are reading or listening on our devices.   We all complain about how we miss actual books.  Nonetheless – all three of us have been able to get the same novel from our libraries at the same time.  We are reading To The Bright Edge of the World by Eowyn Ivey, an excellent choice for the start of winter.  This is one of those dual time books – in the present and the 1850’s – that is filled with lush descriptions of ice and frozen landscapes in Alaska in the early days of American exploration.  There are several story lines here, and I especially liked that of the second main character, Sophie, the wife.  She is unable to join the adventurer husband so fills her time waiting for him by learning to photograph birds.

My art loving friends will appreciate her comment: “…a sculpture does something words cannot, and…so too a photograph”  Pretty good description of art in general, I would say.

11/26/20  Thanksgiving dinner in the garage was memorable!  We invited good friends, set up bistro tables properly distanced, carried out the living room rug, took out pumpkins and lights, turned on the heaters, and opened the door.  Good wine and a turkey dinner helped us feel festive.  Luckily the weather cooperated and we had a fun two hours.

Here’s another thought-provoking idea from Ackerman’s Bird Way.  She explores the many stories that suggest birds, not humans, might be the original fire makers.  Certain kinds of raptors have long been observed picking up burning sticks from the edge of a fire and dropping them into nearby grasslands, thus causing the fire to spread.  They then feast on the small insects, animals, etc escaping the fire.  That myth about Prometheus, fire, and the eagle may have a wholly unexpected layer of meaning.

11/5/20  The once a month meeting with my “other” book club was this morning.  When I lead, like today, I’m always a bit apprehensive.  Do I have too many questions?  Not enough to fill the time?   Don’t talk too much.   But those concerns couldn’t spoil the joy of this wonderful book.  Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather, one of my all-time favorites, was our choice for today.  I love the main character, Father Latour’s approach to life – non confrontational, patient, persistent.  Cather gives us many vignettes, told like family stories after a good dinner, and from them emerge the story of an adventurous, successful life in the new world of New Mexico in the mid 1800’s.  The Archbishop defines that success: “To fulfil the dreams of one’s youth; that is the best that can happen to a man.” 

The serene ending is one of my favorite in literature.  The dying Archbishop relives the emotional turmoil of a young man leaving the French home he loved for the adventure of the unknown world.  Now as an old man, it is time for him to repeat that scene; he will leave his beloved new world for the next unknown.

11/5/20  An appropriate article for upcoming winter from the NY Times:  “What Scandinavians can teach us About Embracing Winter.”  Hygge in Danish; Koselig in Norwegian are the words used to describe the comfort of coziness when the weather is dark and cold.  Bundled up, sitting around the bonfire, drinking something hot  – these things create comfort in an unfriendly environment.  Getting outdoors is key.  Hmmm. 

11/8/20  Last year, our daughter gave us tickets to the Rolling Stones concert in Seattle.  It was an amazing experience – wailing guitars, a wall of sound.   Front man Mick Jagger ran back and forth for two hours dominating the stage.  What great physical shape.  He was 76.   Today, it is Joe who is the inspiration.  Running for and being elected president!  We are the same age – 78.  These two men are wonderful examples of the new old age.

11/10/20  We finished our discussion of As I Lay Dying.  Two books with death in the title in a short time, but both were about ways to live.  This one I didn’t care for.  Why does Faulkner use illiterate people to explore the most sophisticated ideas – being/non being, what is language? His stream of consciousness and dialect made this a very difficult book with little return.

11/15/20  I was gifted The Bird Way by Jennifer Ackerman, non-fiction and yes, about birds.  Fascinating to read what scientists have learned in the last couple of decades with new mini equipment and to think of the patience required to conduct their experiments.  One kind of bird, while still in the egg, can understand its parent’s concern about heat and adjust its growth accordingly.  How do scientists know this? I’ll take their word for it, but it is mind boggling.

Another bird fact learned this week from a totally different source is that a group of coots is called a cover.  It was my birthday and we rented a house on a lake hoping for some good birding.  There was little variety, but one afternoon along came thirty or so coots swimming in a V.  It was a first for us and Google was able to supply the word.

I started this blog in October but it took until now to overcome my resistance to something techie and figure out how to get online.

Life brought an unwelcome surprise to everyone this year. No more meeting inside or at restaurants. We had to learn to Zoom. Luckily there were people still working, or grandchildren, who could help with that. As summer came, we three readers ventured outside for picnics with our bookbags, and finally an outdoor restaurant. What a treat!

Our last outdoor meeting required a coat at lunch time as we sat around a picnic table in front of the taco shop discussing The Bastard of Istanbul by Elif Shafak.  We enjoyed her take on differing views of history.  For the Armenians, it was important and part of their lives; for the Turks, not so much.  Her writing, tho, is the classic definition of “overwrite” – way too much rambling for me.

10/23 “The owl of Minerva flies only at dusk”.  What a wonderful saying for old age.  I came upon it today when reading David Brooks’ article in the Atlantic, “Bruce Springsteen and the Art of Aging Well.”

10/31  Halloween.  No masks; No coats.  Rainy weather so our group stayed inside and zoomed.  Our discussion today was the second half of Safek’s book.  One of us liked the warm family feelings evoked by the “aunties.”  The other enjoyed the exploration of memories on our current lives.  I found a murder/suicide scene set in the middle of all this unrealistic. 

But in a book I didn’t care for, this great nugget:  The overwhelming majority of people never think and those who think never become the overwhelming majority.

An escape to Vancouver and a restaurant along the river with both an overhang and heater.  Fun to see on the wall a quote from Virginia Woolf.  “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”  A woman after my own heart.

11/3/20  Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying is today’s book.  We read only the first 60 pages and it took that long to get the characters straight.  I had a routine hospital procedure but couldn’t bring myself to take that book into the waiting room and let someone see the title.